


What We Become

by PreseaMoon



Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PreseaMoon/pseuds/PreseaMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Like. months after the Kou arc.</p>
    </blockquote>





	What We Become

**Author's Note:**

> Like. months after the Kou arc.

Kouen kisses the soft inside of Hakuryuu’s thigh before taking the entirety of him down his throat for the second time. For the second time he elicits a choked off whimper as hips lurch off the bed. In an effort to soothe that’s only ever mildly successful at best, Kouen makes a circular motion on Hakuryuu’s stomach with his palm. Every twitch and every whimper has him adjusting pressure and rhythm. In a way the repetition is relaxing for him as well.

Legs cross behind his head to pull him in. Hands tangle in his hair while a heavy moan ripples the air. He pushes his nose through Hakuryuu’s pubic hair and swallows around him. There’s another moan, louder and more emphatic than the previous. Accompanying it is Hakuryuu’s hips snapping at him with need.

Resisting the urge to steal a glimpse of the pleasurable expression that has no doubt overtaken the calm mask Hakuryuu steadfastly maintains is near impossible.

What could be more satisfying in this moment than seeing the results of his hard work? The pink dusting on Hakuryuu’s cheeks that delves into a deep red flush spreading to engulf his chest. The unfocused look in his eyes that becomes hazier—needier—the longer Kouen gives his undivided attention. His sleek hair becoming messier, fanning out, sticking to the bed as he thrashes this way and that, struggling to retain what he can of his rigid self-control.

Kouen cannot think of any view more divine. 

The time they’ve had is short. Kouen could fit the good they’ve managed in his hand without having any of it slip through his fingers. And though he does not anticipate the worst, it is unwise to assume a cherished thing will be allowed to last. This world does not care if there has not been time to mature into the magnificence it could be. So as with all times previous to now, Kouen wants to commit everything Hakuryuu is in this moment to memory.

Yet as much as he is compelled to look, longs to look even if for only a second, that is not an action he can take. If Hakuryuu caught him, the slow progress he’s made—the progress they’ve made together—will crack, and while Kouen works to repair it, it will crumble into scattering dust.

After allowing Hakuryuu’s restless movement to distract him for a few minutes, Kouen shuts his eyes to concentrate on his task. He uses his tongue, lips, and throat to ensure Hakuryuu will overflow with sensation, more than he can possibly know what to do with or how to process. Kouen wants to hear and feel the heights of his pleasure if he cannot see it.

Hakuryuu’s hips leap but then don’t settle back on the bed. His tense thighs tremble and tighten more. In response, Kouen pushes further into Hakuryuu’s pubic hair. He groans around him and tries to take him deeper when there’s not much else to take.

While Hakuryuu’s hips wriggle in Kouen’s grasp, several staccato moans fill the room. Each is more wonderfully broken and wanting than the last. And Kouen gives him more, eager for Hakuryuu to reach his absolute highest point with Kouen as the cause. 

Then Hakuryuu’s squirming comes to an abrupt stop. His knees slam closed over Kouen’s head, squeezing it to a near painful extent, and out comes, “S-St-Sto-op! Stop. Stop stop.”

And Kouen does, immediately.

But carrying the order out to its end is not so easy, because while Hakuryuu has made his wish clear, his legs remain locked tight around Kouen’s head. Holding his breath and keeping his mouth and throat still is not so hard to accomplish, but it can’t be done indefinitely. When he goes to pull away, Hakuryuu’s hold does not loosen.

Kouen gently works Hakuryuu's thighs open, which takes far too long when he has to be careful of causing more distress than he has already.

Hakuryuu doesn’t fight him. All the while his breath heaves. Not in the way it would if he were simply catching his breath after being brought to his limit, either. They’re more like… restrained sobs. At that realization, icy fear surges through Kouen’s veins and he pulls away quick as he can, putting Hakuryuu out of his reach.

Hakuryuu lies there with his knees up where Kouen left them, closed and leaning away. He tosses his robe closed, and then hides half his face with an arm until his breath evens out. Once it has, he doesn’t order Kouen out of the room like expected.

This is not the first time Hakuryuu has asked him to stop, but it is the first time he hasn’t immediately followed with a justification.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” Kouen hesitates long enough that he regrets it, and then asks, “Are you hurt?”

Hakuryuu doesn’t think about his answer. He claims nothing’s wrong, he isn’t hurt. But then he doesn’t give any assurance that it’s true.

The previous times Kouen inadvertently upset him it had not been unusual for Hakuryuu to lie still and unresponsive on the bed. Whether Kouen stayed or left made no difference. It is troubling to say the least, but it only occurs if Kouen allows it to.

He moves close enough for his right hand to reach Hakuryuu’s cheek. He strokes it then slips into his hair, hoping to encourage him to not look away. “Why don’t you want to tell me?”

Silence does not mean he is hurt and hiding it. Things would be much simpler if that were the case.

“It has nothing to do with you.”

“No?”

“No,” Hakuryuu snaps with a glare. Then the anger withers away with a sigh. He nudges Kouen’s palm until it’s at his cheek again and gives a look Kouen can’t decipher. All Kouen can say about it is that it seems sad, and maybe a little expectant.

Tentatively, like he thinks Kouen will reject him, Hakuryuu crawls forward to rest on Kouen’s thigh and put his arms around him. Even when Kouen’s hand moves to his back he does not seem confident in his choice.

He wonders how many more months are needed before Hakuryuu starts to realize he will not be pushed away. 

Kouen is unused to dealing with people like Hakuryuu. Individuals who cloud their own point of view in an array of deflections and raw emotion so vast it can be difficult for anyone, themselves included, to find the honesty they mean to convey.

Kouen believes that Hakuryuu wants to be honest with him. Yet conflict remains within him between the Kouen he’s come to know and the person he’s needed Kouen to be for the last decade. When he bares his heart he simultaneously hides, dreading and hoping that Kouen will prove him right, wrong, something else entirely. How is Kouen supposed to tell what’s in his heart when even Hakuryuu cannot?

Whatever the truth may be, Kouen is compelled to apologize for having been the person Hakuryuu believed him to be, no matter how short the duration. Compelled, but how Hakuryuu would take such a thing is unpredictable. So he holds back, and buries his guilt where he can. It will come out eventually, but there is no reason it needs to be today.

Stroking his hair Kouen says, “If you tell me what I did, I can work to avoid it in the future.”

Unless Hakuryuu intends for this to go no further because Kouen has ruined whatever trust was built between them. From the way Hakuryuu gently head-butts his side this is unlikely, but it is not as though Hakuryuu’s actions and beliefs have always aligned in an understandable way. Affection now does not discount later venomous fear.

“I already said it has nothing to do with you,” Hakuryuu says, the words partway muffled from the angle. Then after a false start he adds, “You didn’t do anything,” like he wishes Kouen had.

“What does it have to do with, then?”

“…Nothing.”

“It’s fine if you do not wish to tell me. But I would appreciate it if you said that much.” After a long silence, Kouen then says, “I want you to be well.”

Hakuryuu’s flinch is minute but unmistakable with them touching this way. “I am.”

Aladdin told him that Hakuryuu is doing better, is happier, but Kouen cannot see it. Where are the distinctions between the Hakuryuu who sentenced him to death, the Hakuryuu who dispassionately bid him farewell to this island, and the Hakuryuu that now shares his bed? They are so fine as to be imperceptible to Kouen. Sometimes he wonders if it is the case for Hakuryuu as well.

After all, Hakuryuu’s presence here is somewhat inexplicable. As Kou’s emperor in a world going through innumerable changes at a rapid pace, there should not be time to visit exiles he sentenced himself. Yet here he is, going on his second week of what he initially claimed was a quick stop in to inform Kouen that Sinbad has once again refused to allow Kouen or either of his brother’s back to Kou.

It is not something Hakuryuu needed to handle in person, but those are arguments he pretends to misunderstand.

Kouen is not entirely sure what Hakuryuu is seeking from him. There is not much he can offer aside from his declining body. Even that he cannot offer as he’d like, in a way that’s way beneficial to Hakuryuu. As he is, he cannot win Hakuryuu any battles, nor bring him the happiness he deserves.

Hakuryuu shifts to look up at him with a frown. He knows Kouen is thinking about him, them, Kou. Because what else would be on his mind? Always he believes it to be in an uncomplimentary way. As if Kouen could bother with being bitter, as if he’d ever resent someone so dear to his heart. But attempting to correct this is more trouble than it is worth.

His fingers brush Hakuryuu’s forehead. Then down the bridge of his nose and to his lips, where Hakuryuu kisses the tips then grabs his wrist so he can kiss his palm. It’s meant more as a distraction than an affectionate gesture, but Kouen does not mind.

Hakuryuu rolls over and puts his hands on Kouen’s shoulders to pull himself into his lap. The kiss he gives is soft and sweet and empty. Then he sighs against Kouen’s mouth and sinks, head dropping to his shoulder. “Let’s go for a walk,” he says.

Surprised, Kouen blinks. The hour is late and there’s a chill wafting in from outside. The torches in the room were put out hours ago but there are several candles still burning bright. There’s relatively little danger on this island, but Hakuryuu is still Kou’s emperor. It is inadvisable for him to go on walks without guards in the middle of the night. 

“Koumei said it’s important you move around, so let’s go for a walk.” Kouen means to respond, but Hakuryuu does not give him the opportunity. “Or do you think this has been enough activity? Somehow I doubt it’s what Koumei had in mind. Do you?”

Kouen rubs his back and adjusts his hold. This is not a subject they will discuss. Partially because it is not something he’s spoken about with Koumei in any meaningful way. The most there’s been is his brother’s knowing looks and the occasional comment to be mindful of what he’s doing. Even if they had discussed anything, nourishing Hakuryuu’s paranoia is something he prefers to avoid.

It’s not as if Hakuryuu actually wants to know those details, even if he thinks he does.

“We can go for a walk if that’s what you want. It’s no trouble.” Although, they will have to attach his prosthetic legs first. And those are? On whichever side of the bed Hakuryuu knocked them off of. He’s not sure.

This response seems to confuse him, because Hakuryuu says nothing and remains very still.

Kouen lies back, bringing Hakuryuu with him, keeping him in his arms. Hakuryuu gets comfortable and pushes his face to Kouen’s neck. “We do not have to go anywhere, either. If you like, we can stay right here for as long as you want.”

Everything is up to Hakuryuu, but this is not something he always realizes.

“You won’t go anywhere?”

“Not unless you wish it.”

“I don’t.”

“Then if Your Majesty will have me, I will stay right here.”

Not that there’s anywhere he could go, but this is the place he wants and needs to be.


End file.
